Breathe
by Summer Memory
Summary: In the middle of trying to figure out his past life, being chased by an enemy he didn't remember pissing off, and insisting that, no, he does not recall having one Eustass Kidd as his lover; everything Law needs is just to breathe. AU. Shonen-ai KiddLaw
1. Chapter 1 : Wish You Could See Me

Disclaimer : One Piece and its characters belong to Oda. I am merely using them for my own amusement :p

Whoa..it feels like years since I last wrote anything in this site, and it reminds me just how many unfinished stories I left here. But I am trying to get my hands into working again..so, anyhow here's a new KiddLaw story for you. =D

**Breathe**

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Chapter 1 : Wish You'd See Me

_Image drowning._

_Image yourself being submerged into the endless pit of murky darkness, whatever light visible fading as your sight get unfocused and suddenly the surface feels so far, far away. Image the tightening in your chest of being unable to breathe, water rushing in instead of oxygenated-air, drowning your lungs with cold, foul water instead of warm, crimson red blood._

_You'll feel light headed, the sign of your brain getting asphyxiated, —that means your brain is not getting sufficient oxygen and the your autonomic reflexes kick in. You'll try in vain to move your arms, your legs, trying to get closer to the surface; you'll fruitlessly scream for help, although it will only bring more water into your system._

_A brain of human ceases any activities in approximately six minutes after being deprived of oxygen. That means, you'll die after drowning in approximately six minutes or eight, if you were lucky, although surely it'll feel years more longer than that. A prolonged, painful death._

So, leaning back on the railing with a half-smoked cigarette in one hand, Eustass Kidd watched in interest at the another male standing on the opposite side. The dark-blue haired man was gripping the railing so hard his knuckles turned white and glaring at the murky, black-ink water about six foot beneath the small bridge they were standing at.

The night was silent and if the weather-forecast he had watched this morning was right, it'd probably begin snowing soon.

"You know, if I was going to kill myself, I'd go throwing myself in the front of a container or jump from the tallest building in the city, just for the hell of it." Kidd began, "It'll leave quite a messy leftover, but at least people will remember it for a while." or getting traumatized from it, he couldn't decide which one was more amusing.

The other man jerked and slowly turned his head around, his blue-haired bangs cut short and it looked like jet-black in the lacking presence of light. He was glaring at Kidd with that too-bright eyes of his, eyebrows brought together beyond his hairline.

"What the fuck did you mean?" he spat, not really mad but each words lacing with defensiveness.

"I'm just telling you that if you decide to drown yourself in there, forget it. I could tell it is the worst form of suicide. Besides, when they finally find your body, it'll be turning into an ugly, water-filled, fat blue body. That..wouldn't be pretty, would it?"

"And, what makes you think I am going to jump in there and drown myself?" the tanned man turned his body so that now he was fully facing Kidd. He has a pair of sharp eyes with significant dark bangs under them, and the corners of his mouth turned up just slightly in annoyance. Clearly Kidd had disturbed whatever he had been doing or thinking.

"Well, I'm just trying to save myself the trouble so that I wouldn't have to save you if you decide to jump, you know?" Kidd replied with a shrug and looked away.

"To be honest, you look like a rapist more than a person running around doing charity to save suicidal people."

"Hey!" Kidd protested and to his surprise, the tanned man began to laugh.

"Sor-ryyy," the man said between laughter, drawling out the last syllable as if to mock Kidd furthermore, "It's just, well, your appearance and all. A fur fullbody-coat at this bloody era, really? Man, you look more like a freaking animal-skinner or better yet, a baby-kidnapper."

Kidd felt something stir in his chest at the remark but gave in and let out a small smile. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided to against it. "Not everything you see is what they truly are, idiot."

The man looked at him in surprise, as if what Kidd had just said hit a bull's eye, but didn't say anything to elaborate.

Kidd decided he could care less as he leaned his back further against the railing and looked up at the sky. It was rapidly getting colder in seconds and he put his hands into the warmth of his coat-pocket. He noticed the spots of white began falling from the pitch black sky.

"It's snowing." He said absent-mindedly, as if talking to himself rather than to the man standing across him wearing no more than an oversized hoodie and jeans. A quiet hum was the only answer he could get and he watched the man leaned his back against the railing also so that their pose matched.

"Shouldn't you kid, like, go home or something?" Kidd produced a crumpled box of cigarette and put it between his lips without lighting it.

"Why should I?" the blue-haired man raised an eyebrow at him quizzically, seemingly pouting more than scowling at being called a kid.

"No particular reason," Kidd shook his head, and casted his head down, suddenly taking interest in the scattered snowflakes around his feet. _You hate snow, you hate the cold_, he wanted to say, but he kept quiet instead.

After a few minutes, it was the blue-haired man who broke the silence first, "You're right. I probably should go home rather than getting my ass freezing here." He pushed himself off from the railing and dusted his pants.

Kidd didn't make any movement but his eyes were trained to the other person. "You live around here?" he asked carefully.

"Yeah." The man replied as he stretched himself, "But I'm not telling you exactly where. God knows you could be a real rapist or a baby-kidnapper—"

"Why you!" Kidd began but his words were cut rather effectively with just a wave of hand.

"See you again?" the blue-haired man casted a quick glance across his shoulder, a cheeky grin was heard rather than seen and Kidd almost smiled to himself. It was all or nothing.

"Eustass Kidd, that's my name. Remember that." _Remember me_. "See you later."

The other man only waved his hand without bother replying and Kidd watched his back disappear around the corner. It was only then that he let out a dejected sigh and lit his cigarette. After a few inhales he took out his cellphone, and without really looking dialed a certain name programmed on its speed-dial.

After several rings, it connected. "Kidd?" greeted a soft but firm voice.

"Hey, Killer." Kidd began, "I've found him."

"And? Did you make contact with him?" the voice seemed to suddenly pick up interest.

"Yeah, I did." Kidd replied as he began walking the opposite side the tanned man had walked, "And you are right. That pinprick doesn't remember a single damn thing. Not even _me_." Kidd continued as he threw the spent butt of his cigarette onto the ground and stomp it off. He stopped at an intersection and waited as the pedestrian light went red. When he spoke again, there was an obvious hint of annoyance in his voice, "But he still _remembers_ to make fun of my coat, again."

"Figures." the rolling of the eyes was heard even from over the speaker, "What are you planning to do now?"

The redhead smirked at the quite rethorical question. He began walking as the pedestrian light turned green again. "Isn't it obvious? I'm going to take him back, no matter what it costs."

The phone was clicked shut.

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Please tell me what you think about this story! English is not my native language so I'd be grateful if you would be so kind to pinpoint me where I was doing wrong.

Thank you! :)


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

_. . ._

_-Several months earlier-_

It was pretty late when Killer heard knocking on his door. Heaving a sigh, he put down his _Moby Dick_ novel and headed to the door. Whoever lunatic knocking on his door at two in the morning had to be someone who knew about his habit of staying up late to read books.

Of course, Killer hadn't been expecting to the sight of Law standing before him.

"Hey." Law nodded lightly, the brightness of his eyes and his smirk couldn't hide the paleness of his cheeks.

"Law, you're freezing. What's up?" Killer took once-over of his visitor's appearance before replying and led the other youth toward his room. It was a peculiar thing that Law would give him a late night visit, and alone at that too, which only made the situation more awkward because usually Kidd would follow Law just about everywhere like a lovesick puppy. Killer wasn't particularly close to the dark-skinned youth, if anything, it was Kidd that brought them together and it wasn't as though he could complain about it either. Whoever got familiar with Kidd, also got familiar to Killer. It was just as simple as that.

Law followed him closely behind as he rubbed his hands together to get some warmth. "Nice place you've got there." Law commented lightly at the tidiness of Killer's room and it was then that the blond realized that it was Law's first time visit to his place.

"Thanks." Killer replied as he strode to the kitchenette and asked if Law wanted to drink anything to help warm himself, which he got "Coffee, if you don't mind, no sugar. I really appreciate it." as an answer.

They sat on the couch, Killer sipping his milk tea while Law's coffee was left untouched. Killer was eyeing his guest, who seemed hesitant, which was a sight quite unusual from the blue-haired youth. Something was definitely coming, and from the sound of it, Killer wasn't going to like it at all.

Finally, Law raised his head and stared directly at him. "Killer, I need your help."

. . .

Killer was so going to kill Law. No, scratch that, Killer was going to dismember him while he was still alive and held his still beating heart to his face. Gouge his eyes out and feed it to the fish in the bay, tear off his balls and feed it to the dogs, God knew he might be doing a favor for the rest of humanity.

A doctor emerged from the operating room and Killer quickly rose from his seat.

"He'll manage." The old female doctor reassured him, "Just let him know that I don't allow my patients to leave my care before they're fully healed. Or I'll make him unable to heal at all."

Killer wasn't sure if doctors were supposed to do that, but he just shook his head at the senior doctor's peculiarity and he quickly rushed into the room.

Inside, Kidd was lying unconscious with various needles and cables hooked onto his body. His torso was bandaged heavily and Killer was relieved that Kidd could make it through after all. Although he knew that his redhead friend was as hard as a cockroach to kill, but three bullets to his body were a good reason for Killer to start worrying for his friend.

Seeing as Kidd seemingly wouldn't wake up anytime soon, Killer considered to leave the room and to revisit him later. But just when he turned to leave, a hand caught his wrist. Clearly, he had underestimated the redhead persistent force of life.

"Law..where?" Kidd croaked with almost inaudible voice, but the fierceness in his eyes told Killer clearly what he had wanted to ask.

Kidd's sole question almost made Killer snap. The redhead had only woken up after lying comatose for two days and the first thing he'd asked was about some of the goddamn brat. Trying to soothe his frayed nerves and failing, Killer glared at his bedridden companion. "I told you he was dangerous. He smelt like trouble all the time and now look at what he's gotten you into."

It seemed that it wasn't an answer Kidd had wanted.

"Where is he?" Kidd repeated his question slowly with much more firmness, as if daring Killer to answer to his question or else. As Killer had thought before, trying to reason with Kidd had been useless. That brute never listened.

Heaving a sigh, Killer had no other options but to tell. "I don't know. There were trails of blood all over the place, and when we tried to follow them, they ended on the river. I never thought the kid as a good swimmer, and with all of the blood, it's not hard to think of that it's the end of it. We're still looking for his body."

If it was in any other circumstance, Killer surely would think that it was funny to see Kidd's already pale complexion went even whiter, but this time, that was only a sign of madness beginning to rise. Killer could feel a huge headache coming in.

Kidd grasped his hand tighter and stared at Killer with so much fierceness that he felt like he might combust. When he spoke, his voice trembled. "You know something, don't you?"

Killer snorted and wrenched himself free from Kidd's hold. "If I knew anything, it would be that Law is an asshole, that fucker." Killer turned his face to Kidd and folded his hands on his chest. "Now, _tell_ _me_ what happened."

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Roughly four months later, Killer was sitting on a bench on some park with pensive expression on his face. The evening was steadily setting in and Killer was getting impatient by every passing moment.

"That's him." the white-haired man sitting beside him, Bepo, jerked his thumb to a certain direction. "I tried to talk to him, but it seems that he has no recollection of his past, not even his name whatsoever."

Ignoring his companion's dejected sigh, Killer stared dumbly at a dark-skinned man holding an infant in his hand, trying to shush its cries. A skinny teenager with jet black hair was saying something rapidly at him and the dark-skinned youth actually _laughed_. If Bepo's excuse of Law having an amnesiac wasn't true, Killer wouldn't have known of anything else that would make one Trafalgar Law holding a baby instead of trying to dissect it just for the sake of curiosity.

Thoughts flashed in Killer's mind : Kidd nearly becoming madman trying to find Law for the past four months, Law getting amnesiac and having no recollection of himself at all, and the weight of the situation Law had told him specifically when he's asked for his help. Killer decided that there was nothing worse than finding himself stuck in between them.

This was so going to be a huge mess.

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I'm truly sorry for the very, very late update. I've got no reason, just lazy and I'm beginning to work on my final paper in college, please wish me luck people :D

Sorry for the lack of KiddLaw interaction, but I also need to establish Killer's role in this fic, and he will not be just a side-character. I really hope that the next update is on the way, please stay tuned! ;)

Thank you for reading, and please write a review if you'd be very kind. I really appreciate it! ^^


	3. Chapter 3 : Don't Try

Hello, does anyone miss me? I haven't been around much, RL and college get me busy. ."  
Also, there's a new pairing in this one, it's still one-sided for now, although we'll see if that will work out just fine. That said, happy reading :)

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Chapter 3 : Don't try

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Ace sat comfortably at the couch in his small flat, staring unblinking at the laptop on his lap. The blank whiteness on the screen glared back at him and Ace ran a hand on his shaggy hair in frustration, one hand reaching out for his coffee and flinching when he realized it was cold.

Ace was a writer. Or at least he was struggling to be one. This was his first manuscript that had been approved, after countless rejection from various publishers and he had promised his editor, Nami, that he'd get this chapter done before the end of the day, which seemed so unlikely now.

He was ready to abandon his deadline and formulated a rather believably excuse, probably about his laptop was assaulted by virus, when suddenly his door burst open with Luffy barging in with delighted scream.

"I'm home!"

Ace barely bat an eyelash at the sudden noise filling the small, cramped place. "Welcome back, there's curry in the back." He replied casually and his baby brother squealed happily as he marched to the kitchen, obviously to get his lunch. Luffy had always complimented that Ace was one of the best cooks, seconded only to their childhood friend Sanji, but Luffy always wolf down his food without seeming to chew it, so it was a little questionable that he could tell.

A minute later, Law came in later in lazy stroll, struggling to keep ahold of a toddler trying to pull at his goatee. "Oh God, I am not sure I would ever want a kid for myself." He drawled out with his thick British accent.

Ace put his laptop on the coffee table and took over the toddler in his arms, cooing softly. Tony Tony Chopper was the son of their neighbors Kaya and Ussop the Portgas brothers used to look after when the married couple were both working. While Luffy was excited with kids and Ace generally didn't mind, Law was plainly awkward with kids. At first he just stared at the toddler, as if unsure of what to do or where to put his hands without resulting him to break into wailing mess.

"You are good with kid."

Realizing that Law was observing him, Ace gave a coy smile. "Mm, makes you wonder right? Say, do you want to have a kid with m-."

"I dare you to finish that word, Portgas."

If his hands weren't already full with a twelve pounds of babbling cuteness, Ace would throw his hands up in the air to show that both he and his comment itself were pretty harmless. Instead, he grinned at Law's darkening glare and called Luffy to take over Chopper (trust Ussop to come up with the silliest excuse of his kid's name) before heading back to make coffee and eventually, back to his work.

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The day Ace found him at some abandoned junkyard beside the river, Law was pointing a gun at him.

It was supposed to be a rather peaceful evening stroll, Ace did it a lot to clear his mind and to get some inspiration for his novel, when he unknowingly arrived at a deserted place he'd never known before. And then there was a gun held against his temple.

"Who sent you?" his attacker's breathing was ragged and heavy but the hand holding the gun was steady.

"I don't know what you meant," Ace began, trying to feign calm because panicking wouldn't get him anywhere, "but whoever you're looking for, Sir, you're getting the wrong person. I am merely an innocent citizen, you see."

There was a stretch of silence, filled only with jagged breath and Ace could hear blood rushing in his ears. Faintly, he imagined how Luffy would react if his dead body is turned up in the news, caught dead on a random gangster attack. He wouldn't even dream of leaving his baby brother alone.

The pressure on his temple eased and it took several minutes before Ace gained enough courage to turn and look at his assailant. Drenched from head to toe like a drowned cat, the dark skinned man was swaying a little on his feet. There's a large gash on his temple and blood wept steadily down the side of his face and his dirty shirt. His gray eyes glazed and disturbingly unfocused.

There was a dangerous vibe about the whole situation, but the man looked nothing but…lost. Confused.

His knees buckled under him and Ace hurriedly caught him into his arms, feeling the man's skin hot and clammy under his touch.

"Who are you?" Ace asked, and when the man didn't answer, he decided on different approach, "What happened?"

"I don't know." The answer came out slurred and unsteady. His frame shaking. When he turned his head enough to look up, Ace's heart constricted at the raw emotion he saw in those gray eyes. Confusion. Desperation. Fear.

"I can't remember. What happened?"

Luffy was startled at first when Ace bought the stranger back to their cramped flat, but soon his younger brother was attending to the injured man like a good nurse he was. Sometimes it amused Ace to no end when he thought of Luffy as a nurse when he was probably more talented in wreaking havoc at the hospital than fixing up the patients.

Luffy insisted that he should be taken to hospital immediately, but Ace thought that given the circumstance Ace had found him earlier, there would be questions and Ace didn't particularly liked being questioned by police, moreso after his falling out with Smoker thirteen months ago. Luffy relented but when he got back from his shift later in the night, he brought two blood-bags, IV-bags, and alarmingly, morphine.

"To help with the pain." His baby brother tried to explain helpfully, innocently, and cheerfully ignored the fact that he had brought illegal substance into their home.

Ace didn't particularly want to know how his baby brother had gotten his hands on those.

Delirious under the fever and heavily drugged, the man drifted into and out of consciousness. He woke up several times, but under none of them he was lucid enough to have a conversation. The fever finally broke after five days of excruciating delirious state and Ace had barely managed to keep him from bolting out of the room when Ace emerged into the room (Ace's room) with hot chicken soup.

The stranger remembered his name : Trafalgar Law, he loved coffee, he knew about stitching up wound and how to treat all degrees of burn injury, he could recite every single play by Shakespear, he knew the name of the recent president, and apparently, nothing else.

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It was late in the night and Ace's flat was silent. Luffy had his night shift and Chopper had been brought back to Kaya's, who gave them a bag of fresh oranges, which Ace had stopped trying to refuse anything she gave them long, long time ago. Law was probably out in the balcony, smoking. He swear that man would surely die of lung cancer later.

Ace was still stuck with his unfinished manuscript he had been struggling since this morning.

"What are you doing?"

Ace flinched when suddenly Law peered over his shoulder to look at his laptop. He had kept Law around for about five months now, but he still couldn't get used to his stealthy and silent demeanor.

"Goodness, one day you'll give me a heart attack." Ignore the fact that Ace was too healthy and too young to get one. He just nudged at his screen, knowing that Law would catch the hint. "I've redone it for the twelfth time, and I still can't get the words right."

Law pressed the navigation button and scanned the document briefly, and Ace could _hear_ the man frowning. "You're trying too hard, the words seemed forced and unnatural. You know Charles Bukowski would say-"

"- _'Don't try.'_" They said in the same time, and Ace chuckled lightly as his eyes followed Law walking and sitting at the other end of the couch, the scent of tobacco following behind his wake.

"Subtlety doesn't work on this one, so you might not want to bother with pretty words. It's distracting when the scene calls for fast-paced action. You'll have to get to be more specific, explicit, cutting—Ace, why are you looking at me like _that_?"

Ace caught himself staring, again, when he should have been _listening_. "Nothing. You look good when you're excited."

Law must have not expected the brutal honesty and simultaneously bad pickup line because he opened his jaw, only to close it again the next second, and looked away. His skin flushed a faint shade of red. "I appreciate good writing."

Ace smiled genuinely, enjoying the comfortable silence before directing his eyes back to his laptop. The soft glowing of his screen illuminated Law's soft feature. The man had been around for some times now, and Ace didn't really have a reason to prevent him from walking away, but Law stayed, anyway, and Ace had never been more grateful for it.

Law was attractive, yes. But there was definitely something in him, dark and deep and unspeakable, something that kept him distant and away from the rest of the world. Although Law insisted that he didn't have any memories of his previous life, and when he forced himself to remember, it only resulted to severe headache and panic attacks which he almost fainted once. Ace firmly forbade him to do it anymore. Let it come when it come.

"I meant it." Ace suddenly said, "I wish you could remember what you enjoyed doing so I can see you getting excited more often."

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Sometime later in the night, Ace realized.

He was slowly, surely, helplessly, falling for Law.

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Alright, so the story is pretty much diverted from what I had in mind, but I hope it doesn't get tangled up much. Sometimes later I will go back to the previous two chapter to fix what needs to be fixed and besides, the grammar is horrible *facepalm*  
Probably I should start hunting for a beta..

So about the possibility of the new pairing, yes, it's one-sided AcexLaw, although we'll see into that later. I want to know if you root for KiddxLaw or AcexLaw, because this will change the plot a little. ^^

Thank you for sticking so far to this story, please tell me what you think! I really appreciate it! :)


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